Ash
by BANEHiwatari
Summary: Falling in love with Sephiroth was both the best and worst event of my life. Because with the happiness that comes with loving someone with all of your being, there is the pain, the disappointment, the betrayal. For love is not for the faint of heart. And loving a soldier, you must endure. Sephiroth/OC two shot. 17,000 words total. Starts before Crisis and ends in Advent Children.


When you fall in love, it's sudden, but natural and completely unexpected. The love of your life simply falls into your life one day, and you may get the case of love at first sight, or the gently growing kind of love which perseveres. And your lover could be anyone. But you will love them with all your being, no matter how much it hurts. My lover doesn't remember me. He lost all memory and feelings for me one night. The man who I fell in love with was known as Sephiroth. For me, it was simply Sephiroth, not General Sephiroth, I wasn't a soldier under his command, nor did I worship him like his fanclub did. To me, Sephiroth was merely a man. But while I wished for a normal love life, with Sephiroth, everything is unforgettable and nothing is normal.

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There was a time where my family and I were happy. My father had been a traveler from Rocket Town, and my mother had been a nurse from Costa del Sol. They were never married, but they lived together and had me. When I was quite young, too young to really question my parents about the important things in life, they were killed. Some people told me that they had died in a mugging gone wrong in the upper plate, some believe that they had been killed by monsters. I believe that they were involved with Shinra and were no longer needed, thus disposed. And maybe, if that were true, I should've been dead as well. But I was not.

Instead, I was forced to live in an orphanage until I was old enough to take care of myself at age thirteen. Or rather, the orphanage kicked me out to make room for the abundance of incoming younger children. Luckily, I still had my family home to return to, which was a lot better than what most orphans my age had. While I wanted to know what happened to my parents, there was always a fear that what happened to my parents would happen to me, too. But that mystery would remain unresolved, just like the deaths of many others. After all, there was nothing normal about Shinra.

Being raised by Shinra, Sephiroth was no exception. While I led a rather boring life, Sephiroth led the life of a decorated SOLDIER. And I yearned for something exciting to happen in my life. I was a fool. I wished for adventure, but I didn't want the danger that went with it. But I got my adventure on a cold and rainy November afternoon as I sat on a swing in the park near my home in the slums.

From what I remember, I was sitting on the swings, ignoring the cold rain pouring all over me. The children that usually stopped by were inside their homes with their families, so there was a peaceful silence in the park. I was about to leave the park to make myself lunch when a large banging sound erupted from the left alleyway. Furrowing my brows, I stood up and waited patiently to see if something was about to attack me. A few moments later, a half-naked man ran out of the alleyway with a less than graceful stumble and fell to the muddy floor, drenched from the rain and injured. From behind the man came a hellhound with a feral snarl.

I blanched at my luck. I had nothing to defend myself with. I stepped back to sprint home, but a moan from the fallen man made me halt in my steps. I groaned at my stupidity and ran forward instead. The hellhound reared its ugly head to growl at my charging form. With a cry of fury, I kicked the hellhound in the face with my rain boots. The black beast yelped for a moment before launching itself at me with its jaws open. I jumped backwards just in time for the canine's jaws to barely snap at my long black hair. Suddenly feeling brave, I tackled the beast to the ground and punched its eye until it bled. Then with one mighty buck, the hellhound threw me off of its body and ran away.

I cursed the beast angrily before picking myself up from the muddy floor and walking towards the fallen man. That is when I noticed the long silver hair caked in brown dirt and water. I paled when I remembered that only one person in all of Midgar had silver hair. "No way." I muttered in wonder, crouching down to flip the man's body over. I blushed when I was met with a finely sculpted face of high cheekbones, a pointed nose, and thin lips. Oh boy. This was definitely Shinra's poster boy… er man… I paused briefly to oogle him. Yup… definitely a man.

Shaking my head, I gently shook Sephiroth, "Come on, big guy. What are you doin', gettin yer ass kicked by such a small threat." Only a pained groan escaped the man, and there was no sign of him waking up any time soon. Then, as if the Planet was telling me something, the rain started falling harder. I pouted heavily and glared up at the steel plated sky. "REALLY? What? Is there a monsoon above the plate or SOMETHING?" No answer… Figures, I was talking to the sky after all.

Huffing, I knelt to the muddy floor and threw Sephiroth's arm over my shoulder before heaving him up, almost slipping several times before being able to stand to my full height. I raised an eyebrow when another arm was thrown over my other shoulder, making it look like I was giving the General a half assed piggyback ride. "Piggyback it is." I muttered with a sulking attitude, crouching and slouching to grab at the General's thighs since he decided to hug me all on his own. Standing up, I nearly stumbled forward with a curse. It was odd, carrying a taller and heavier man on my back. "Son of a-! What are you? 180 cm?" I muttered curses under my breath as I slowly made my way to my home with unstable steps and cursed my helpful nature.

A few paces from my front door, my knees started to give away, so I grit my teeth and settled for leaning the taller man against the wall of my home as I unlocked the door. I grimaced as I dragged the man through the threshold, making a dry joke that since his hair was much longer than my own, I was technically carrying my bride into our new home… As I said, a joke made in poor taste. Afterall, the General was injured and muddy.

Once inside my home, I turned and stared at the unconscious man. Okay. I am, in no way, trained to treat the injured. I grimaced, "Well, I should probably clean him up so that the wounds don't get infected. Then, I should at the very least put him on the bed and disinfect the wounds." Then, I wanted to wail because of his hair. "Dirty and long." How much shampoo was I going to need?

I shook my head and set about looking for a scrunchie to tie the man's hair up with. And then I dragged him into the bathroom, where I began to fill the tub with warm water. While the tub was filling, I silently prayed that Sephiroth would wake up. There was no way in hell that I want to undress him… I could feel my face heat up… Okay. So maybe I did… He was eye candy after all. Then, as if the Planet heard me (finally) a groan alerted me to my now conscious guest.

Long lashes fluttered open to reveal stunning green eyes like that of a cat, taking in the sight of my bathroom in drowsy confusion. When he finally turned to look at me, he asked unsure, "Who are you? Where am I?"

Seeing that the tub was filled with a good amount of water, I shut the tap off before looking at the General. "I'm Ayla Noe and you're in my home, in Sector Eight. You were attacked by a Hellhound in the slum park. Why didn't you fight it?"

The man squinted and blinked before shaking his head. "Was I supposed to fight it? How would I have done that?"

Confused, and feeling a little bit of dread, "How to fight? Wait. What's your name?" I asked quietly.

Green eyes merely stared into my brown eyes in confusion. "Aren't you supposed to tell me?"

I gaped at the General… no, Sephiroth with something akin to wonder and horror. I was housing an injured, half clothed, and amnesiac SOLDIER in my home. I scratched at my forehead nervously, "I… (*sigh) You're name is Sephiroth. That's all I really know about your personal information. You work for Shinra as the General of their specialized army. Which I should take you back to after we get you cleaned and your wounds dressed."

At the mention of Shinra, the silver haired man furrowed his brow, "Shin… ra… You mean… the really… bright building?"

I blinked a few times at Sephiroth's description before nodding. "Yes. Wh-" And soon I was tackle hugged.

"Don't bring me back!" the silver haired man seemed to wail in fright. "They hurt me. It burned. Don't make me go back!"

If you ask how I felt about the current situation, I would say baffled. This man, who was the most fearsome SOLDIER the world has ever seen, who spent his life in Shinra, who was a year older than I, need I remind you, was reduced to tears and childish wails. Well… given that he had amnesia, I would assume he was nothing but innocent at this point. And so… I found myself in a strange position. Muddy, on the floor of my bathroom, hugging and comforting an equally muddy and amnesiac Sephiroth. If my life wasn't exciting, it sure as hell is now.

I awkwardly began to pet Sephiroth's head, "Uhh… I… Don't worry. I won't take you back there." I promised quietly, mentally trying to calculate how much of my savings I would have to use to take care of a full grown man who doesn't want to go home, but also debating if I wanted to risk having to experience my greatest fear again. "B-but you should really take a bath so we can treat your injuries."

"Eh duwn no hw." Came a muffled reply from my stomach area.

"Could you repeat that?" I asked with a disbelieving tone.

Sephiroth tilted his head to look me in the eyes, "I don't know how to take a bath."

I stalled and stared blankly at his sculpted face. "You just get undressed and sit in the tub. Then you get the soap and rub it on your body to clean it." I tried to explain the process like I would to a small child. But holy crap was this difficult when this guy was a lot taller than me.

There was a pout on Sephiroth's face as I continued to explain how to bathe. And I was fighting to not laugh at the sheer madness of Sephiroth pouting. "Can't you just take a bath with me?"

I swear I might faint. "Sephiroth. We can't do that."

"Sure we can!" Sephiroth then leaned back with a pained grimace and started unbuckling his pants.

"NO! NO!" I panicked, wide-eyed, grabbing at Sephiroth's hands. "Don't do that!"

Sephiroth looked bewildered at my adamant refusal. "Why not? We're both dirty. And I don't want to wait too long." Sheepishly, he gestured to his back. "They're beginning to really hurt."

I sighed and relented, "Fine. But you have to do everything I tell you. Understand?" I received an obedient puppy eyed nod. "Good. Stand up. I'm going to leave the bathroom while you take your clothes off and wrap that towel around your waist." I explained, gesturing to said towel as I grabbed another to wrap around myself. I once again received a nod before leaving the room to strip.

And when I entered the bathroom after five minutes, clutching the towel wrapped around my torso, I couldn't meet Sephiroth's eyes. First time almost nude in front of a man, and I'm not even in a relationship with him. Great start, Ayla. Fucking great. With my eyes focused on the floor, I gestured towards the tub. "Uh… Please sit in the tub." Ha. Went from a loudmouth to a timid kitten as soon as nudity is involved. Lovely, Ayla.

There was a brief splash and Sephiroth announced lowly, "I-I'm in."

I nodded slowly and lifted my left foot to step into the medium sized tub, which apparently wasn't big enough, considering that I ended up pressed up against Sephiroth. Too tall for his own good. Now don't get me wrong, every other female in the entirety of the world might kill me to be in this position, and it's not like I didn't like it, but taking advantage of a disabled person is cruel. That, and I was more a fan of Sephiroth's friend, Angeal.

I gulped as I crawled forward a little so that I was practically on his lap (there was no practically about it, I was on his lap). Then, I took a washcloth from the side of the tub and dipped it into the water before gently wiping away the mud on Sephiroth's chest. And as I worked, I could feel his eyes staring at me with his undivided attention. And I'll admit that my face was getting quite red as my legs brushed against his when I reached up to wash his face. "Sorry if this is weird."

Sephiroth smiled and closed his eyes as I lifted his arms to wash, "I don't think it's weird. It actually feels good." Cue a groan of exasperation, to which Sephiroth chuckled deeply, "What's the matter?"

I glared at him, "You are much too innocent right now. So many people would take advantage of your current situation right now, and you leave yourself unguarded."

He opened his eyes, green meeting my brown with an absolute trust that I was not used to seeing in the slums. "But you haven't."

I frowned and slid backwards, "Oh turn around so I can get your back." Sephiroth chuckled, but did as I demanded, turning so that I sat behind him. There were three gashes along the length of his back, but not too wide. "This is good. The wound's not too wide, and it's certainly not infected, but there's dirt in it." I muttered, mostly to myself, as I cleaned around the wound before gently cupping my hands and pouring water into the wounds until the dirt was all out. Then, I proceeded to rub soap onto his torso before rinsing him off. "Okay. Now your hair." I wondered how I was going to do this, since his hair was much longer than my own. Then I looked at the cold and murky water and sneered, letting the water drain before filling it up with new water. I didn't have a bucket, so I couldn't pour water onto his head.

"I have an idea!" Sephiroth announced with a grin before sliding down the tub so that his head was in my lap.

At this point, I had decided to treat him like a child, and went along with his idea, tugging the scrunchie out of this hair and letting the silver strands submerge in the water. Sighing mournfully, I grabbed my entire bottle of shampoo and began my work to clean his hair, finishing within ten minutes with satisfactory results. Once done, I gently patted Sephiroth's chest to tell him to get up. "Okay, you're done."

The next thing I knew, the washcloth was taken from me and pressed to my chest, which was now bare of the towel. I spluttered indignantly and went to cover my body by curling into a fetal position and crossing my arms. "W-what are you d-doing!" I exclaimed in mortification.

The silver haired man merely cocked his head to the side, "I'm washing you."

"You can't just DO that!" I objected with a red face. Great. Fully nude in front of a man that I am not in a relationship with.

"But you helped me, so why can't I help you!" There was no questioning tone, as it sounded a little more forceful. As if Sephiroth were saying Shut up and let me care for you.

And so, for the next ten minutes, I sat, embarrassed, in the bathtub as Sephiroth cleaned me.

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I sat grumbling as I disinfected and dressed Sephiroth's wounds. I felt so… dirty for having let a man that I did not know touch my naked body. Of course, it didn't mean much to Sephiroth, considering he didn't have any memories of such things, but still. Sephiroth was now clothed in my deceased father's old sweatpants, with a white v neck shirt rolled up so that I could properly bandage the wounds.

"What am I going to do with you now?" I muttered, "If you leave the house, everyone in Shinra will know where you are before the sun even sets."

"I can cook for you." Sephiroth offered, looking back at me.

I paused mid wrap and stared at the man incredulously, "And… How do you know how to cook, but not how to bathe?"

The man had the audacity to look sheepish, "I… uh… started remembering some stuff."

My right eye twitched. "And what did you remember?"

He shrugged coyly, "Oh, a little bit of this and a little bit of that."

"Not helpful, but fine. As long as you can handle taking care of the house, I'll go out and work to feed us." I relented, finishing up wrapping his wounds and pulling the shirt down. "Now, go to sleep. On the bed, on the couch, it doesn't matter to me. I'm tired." I yawned, falling sideways on my twin sized bed, silently clapping myself on the back for actually remembering to blow dry Sephiroth's and my hair. There was a brief silence before the sheets shuffled and the bed dipped. Opening my eyes, I found myself sharing a pillow with my silver haired guest. Grunting tiredly, I reached past my legs and grabbed the large duvet, covering the both of us in warmth. And when arms reached to engulf me in a hug, I was too tired to complain.

Who knew that the great General Sephiroth was a cuddler.

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Since the amnesic Sephiroth did not wish to return to Shinra, I've decided to allow him to stay with me. The severals hours that I spent with him turned to days, then to weeks. We had settled upon a routine based off the fear that Sephiroth would be discovered and taken away. Everyday, I would wake up and leave to run errands for various people in the slum center, where all the shops were. Meanwhile, Sephiroth would cook the day's meals, and keep the house clean, to which I would often jokingly call him my "wife." And while I had previously remarked that I was more an Angeal fan than a fan of Sephiroth, I was beginning to take to the man. He was sweet and attentive, something that I was not used to, having lived in the slums since I was a baby, and orphaned by the age of eight. And I can honestly say, that we were happy with each other's company.

But then, Sephiroth started having night terrors in the second week. He was gradually remembering things, mostly menial facts about himself that somehow led to an aversion from my hugs. However, I merely reasoned that Sephiroth, before the memory loss, didn't much like physical contact. But one night, I awoke to his screaming as he flailed in bed, eyes shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. So, I did what I thought was right, and threw my arms around him, hugging his tear stained face to my chest as I whispered words of comfort. And when he finally awoke, all Sephiroth could do was clutch onto the back of my shirt and chant, "Don't leave me."

Something must have clicked in my head when I heard his desperate cries, as I pressed my lips to the crown of his head and whispered, "I won't leave you. I promise" until Sephiroth fell asleep once more.

The usual routine the next morning was more or less the same, except for the fact the Sephiroth would refuse to meet my gaze, or tried to avoid speaking with me. This came as a bit of a shock for me as I was accustomed to light banter in the morning before I left to make a living. And as hard as I tried to catch the silver haired man's attention, he would turn his head away and proclaim that he needed to fix something in another room. By the time I had to leave for work, I was beside myself with many different emotions that I couldn't immediately decipher. So, I left without a word to Sephiroth that morning.

While running errands for the day, my usual employers would notice that I was not the same. Some of the women would question me, "Dear Ayla, why are you so sad?"

I would answer that I was fine, and that I wasn't sad, but the women would all merely look at me with empathy. No matter what I told myself, told other people, I knew that I was still bothered by the events that happened earlier today. The way that Sephiroth wouldn't look at me, kept popping up into my mind's eye. I felt too much, felt that I was becoming overwhelmed. Frustration, anger, sadness, confusion, and most of all, hurt. Did I do something wrong? Did he not want me to be with him? Simply the thought that he would not want to be near me made tears well up at the corners of my eyes and caused a heavy pressure on my chest accompanied by a sinking feeling that I knew as dread. No matter what I did, I could not disperse the feeling. A constant companion throughout the day, and while on my trek home.

Approaching my home with the next few days' groceries in hand, I expected with half a heart for Sephiroth to throw open the doors and rush to assist me. When he did not, the pressure in my chest increased tenfold. In the end, I had to balance the two bags in one arm haphazardly as I unlocked the door and nudged it open with my foot. Once I was inside the house, I set the bags on the floor near the door and scanned the room for Sephiroth, only to find him lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Noticing that I was home, the silver haired man sat up and walked towards me. Hopeful, I started to speak, "Seph-" but was cut short when he walked past me to pick up the grocery bags and bring them to the kitchen counter, all the while avoiding my gaze.

I bit my lip as tears welled up again, staring at him imploringly. Begging for him to look at me, to talk to me, to acknowledge me. And when Sephiroth didn't, continuing his task of putting the groceries into the fridge, ignoring me, the tears overflowed and a sob escaped.

Broad shoulders stiffened from across the room as I tried to stop crying. "Why?" I asked, choking on the sobs that shook my body. "What did I do wrong?" And when there was no answer, no response from Sephiroth, the pressure increased and I crouched, no longer able to stand up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I apologized over and over, hoping that he would maybe react if I did. But it was futile. There was still no reaction, no acknowledgement, not even a tilt of the head. Like he didn't want me around.

The next thing I knew, I had sprinted to climb the ladder up to the attic, where I kept all of my family's belongings from before I became an orphan. The attic was regularly cleaned, so no dust sat on the queen sized bed that was positioned in the middle of the attic. It was my parent's bed, which was where I would go to when I was younger to seek comfort from night terrors. And it was in this bed where I curled up with my tears and clutched my old teddy bear after kicking off my shoes.

From the level below, all I could hear was silence. A dead and hollow melody that I wanted to go away. I wanted to hear something. I yearned for him to come up after me and tell me why he was ignoring me in such a cold manner. I wanted to hear something break, the shattering of dishes, as he expressed his emotions. I even desired for him to yell at me. Something. Anything. To make the deafening silence go away. To demonstrate to me that he cared even the slightest for me. But there was only silence.

Cynically, I questioned why this even mattered so much to me. Why did him giving me the cold shoulder sting so much? Because he was my friend? No. If it were simply that I wanted friendship, I would have sought out another. Was is because of family? Perhaps. The comfort I experienced with him was euphoric in a way, but not on a familial level. And then it hit me. I loved Sephiroth.

"But he doesn't love me." I whispered with a dejected sob, curling further into a ball until darkness took me.

And it was because I fell asleep at 6pm that i woke up in the middle of the night, still crying, but also hungry. Climbing out of my late parent's bed, I slipped on my shoes and descended the ladder. The ladder was in the same vicinity as the bed, and when I descended and turned, I expected to see Sephiroth sleeping. However, when I didn't see him in the bed, which was perfectly made, and when I noticed that his shoes were also gone, it hit me like a train that he left. That my greatest fear had been realized. That I would care for a person with my body, mind, and soul, and then they would leave me. Then, again, began the weeping. In hiccups and waves of sobs and incoherent statements of denial, as if I were trying to make it all a dream. But the thunder outside and the pattering of the rain on the roof and sides of the house only cemented this as reality. I was alone again.

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Then there was a creaking sound as the bathroom door opened revealing the reason for all my tears the past ten hours. The house was mostly dark, save for the light from the bathroom, and the glow coming from the lights next to the front door, but there was no doubt in my mind that Sephiroth saw my form and froze. At that point, I wasn't looking directly at him, or rather, I couldn't, instead opting to turn my head to stare at the floor away from the bathroom, shoulders slumped in quiet defeat. The silence between us stretched on, with him staring at me, and me still crying.

After several minutes, I had resolved to go back up the ladder, turning to do just that when he finally whispered, "Ayla."

And almost pathetically, my body whipped around so that I could look him in the face. I was unsure what my face looked like, let alone what my eyes betrayed, but Sephiroth, being the superhuman that he was, saw everything on my face as plain as day. Maybe it was hurt that shone in my eyes, maybe it was hope, but the next thing I knew, Sephiroth had crossed the room and pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry."

I whimpered and fought against him, weak from the hours of crying. "Why?" I begged, banging against his chest while still in tears. "Why did you pretend that I didn't exist? What did I do wrong?" With every sob, I grew weaker until I couldn't struggle anymore.

"You didn't do anything." Sephiroth admitted, arms tightening around my body. "I was scared."

"That's not a good enough reason!" I yelled, pushing away to stare at him with teary and outraged eyes, "Do you know how much you hurt me?" Our eyes connected as I furrowed my brows in frustration, "Every time you refused to meet my eyes, I felt dread. Every time you wouldn't speak to me, my heart dropped. And every time you refused be near me, I couldn't breathe!"

Sephiroth looked guilty as he tried to hold my gaze, a conflict in his green eyes that threatened to grow into a storm. "A few nights ago, I had a dream where we were… intimate. I have known for a while that I was attracted to you, but I didn't know to what extent. And when I woke up, I knew that if I wasn't careful, I might do something that you were not comfortable with. So, I tried not to make physical contact with you. Then, last night, I dreamt that I had a son, with you. And it was something that I have never wanted more." There was a desire and honesty that hypnotized me and kept me quiet, no matter how much I wanted to continue protesting. "And then, like someone flipped a switch, the dream turned into a nightmare. A nightmare where I killed you and our son. You have to understand," he appeared pained as he lifted a hand to caress my right cheek, "that I did not want to live in a world where you died because of me. So I tried to isolate myself from you. But as I tried so hard to avoid such a future, I couldn't stand hurting you and having to face you as you cried. And I realize that I was simply being a selfish coward. Then, earlier tonight, I had another nightmare. Where I lived a life where you were with another man, but you weren't happy." Sephiroth shook at the thought, "When I woke up, I knew that I had to have you to myself, that I needed to make it up to you for the hurt I've caused."

Then, gently, Sephiroth bent down to press his lips against mine softly. "I love you so much, Ayla. And I am a selfish man." Another soft kiss was placed on my lips, slower this time, so I felt his surprisingly soft lips press against my chapped ones. "I crave your attention." Another kiss, longer again. "I desire your body." A firm kiss and a brush of the tongue on my bottom lip before he pulled back to press his forehead to mine, our eyes meeting. "I lust for everything about you." Sephiroth confessed, gaze teeming with pent up desire.

Shocked, and unable to respond verbally just yet, I responded to Sephiroth's confession by throwing my arms around his neck and pressing my lips hungrily to his. Brushing my own tongue against his lips, I was surprised when they immediately opened with a low groan, as Sephiroth lightly brushed his thumb under my right eye and rested his other hand on my hips. Curious to try a trick that I overheard from some of my neighbors, I gently ran the tip of my tongue against the roof of Sephiroth's mouth, eliciting a moan from him. With a last flicker against the roof of his mouth, I pulled back slightly to whisper, breathless, "I love you, too, Sephiroth."

Spurred on by my confession, Sephiroth bent to close the distance between us, both hands now cupped my face as he kissed back, imitating me by rubbing his tongue under and over mine before reaching the roof of my mouth and lightly brushing it. And while there have been many times where I've brushed my own tongue to the roof of my mouth to get a sense of the sensation, having someone who you are attracted to and love do it to you was titillating. And almost immediately, I wanted to feel more of Sephiroth, feverently grabbing at him as his tongue continued to tease me in a rhythmic motion. One wave of euphoria after another with each brush of the tongue, so much so, that I began to feel weak. And as Sephiroth lifted me up to wrap my legs around his hips, intending to lay me on the bed, I mused to myself in wonder, So this is why people like being in relationships.

No sooner had I thought that, my back met the soft fabric of the bed. Pulling off my shoes and kicking his boots off, Sephiroth soon hovered above, his long silver hair cascading around us in a curtain, as if to hide our passions from the world. We were silent as the rain pelted the walls of the house, both content with making close eye contact. After a while, I reached upward with my arms and pulled Sephiroth down to meet my lips, falling back into the tempo from before. All I could hear was the movement of our limbs as we sought to feel as much of each other as possible. Though his left hand held my head in place, his right hand had dipped down to latch itself onto my hip. Slowly, I felt as his hand snuck under my shirt, drawing patterns with the tips of his fingers. For my part, I explored the silkiness of his silver tresses before allowing hands to roam and feel his chest to his shoulders before settling with pressing my palms against the back of his shirt and sliding under the fabric to feel the contours of his lower back.

Then, suddenly, Sephiroth pulled away to kiss his way up to my left ear, which has always been the more sensitive of the two. "I might not be able to hold myself back," Sephiroth warned me in a husky voice. "I want to feel you so badly."

It was a warning from the man that I loved, that there was something within him that he could not contain. A beast, maybe. Something feral. And at the time, I did not realize that it was something evil and sinister. Sephiroth had an idea of how dangerous he was, and in that moment, he wanted me to know that I could never turn back if we continued. Sephiroth, the love of my life, knew that something foreboding lay dormant within him, and if I knew what really lay within him, the Calamity, Rufus had called it, I might have backed away. But I loved him, I still do. And in that time, where we were both vulnerable, I could have never turned away from what he desired. From what I desired.

I was ready to accept every part of Sephiroth. Showing him by turning my head to capture his lips briefly before moving lower to leave my mark on his neck, whispering, "Don't hold back."

 **IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING PART 2:**

 **I will not be updating part 2 until quite some time later. If you wish to read the rest of this story earlier, it is already posted on my personal blog, which can be found on my profile page (blog: shianhygge . blogspot . com , just remove the spaces. Also, please review! I would like to know what everyone thinks! Also, Fanfiction doesn't support the format which I wrote this story intending... so my blog post has the whole story in its original format.**


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